Hi my names Olivia and I'm a poet. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease when I was 14 years old. My symptoms were nausea, diarrhoea multiple times a day, weight and appetite loss, and worst of all - crippling pain. I was in and out of hospital age 14 - 17 and the doctors tried steroids, infliximab and azathioprine. I am lucky that with time, my condition really improved, but wow, it was tough few years.
My confidence took a massive knock and I felt totally alone. I actually hid the fact that I had Crohn's until I was 24 - keeping it a secret from all the people I met, friends and colleagues. I was ashamed to be different and I desperately didn't want to have a life long disease.
Olivia Mulligan
Blog Co-Author and Person Living with Crohn's Disease
I feel sorry for the younger me. I wish I could tell her it would all be OK. Finally, age 24 I started therapy, spoke to my loved ones about living with Crohn's and it was the best decision I have ever made. Knowing I have the support has made my life so much brighter. To anybody reading this, please don't go through this journey alone.
Having a chronic illness is nothing to be ashamed of - your life is worth living and you are full of potential.
I wish I could tell the 14 year old me, that the diagnosis of Crohn's didn't mean life was over. It meant that I would grow in empathy therefore make lots of life long friends and fall in love. It meant that I would become brave and travel the world by myself.
It meant that I would become strong and become a long distance runner. It meant that I would become resilient - I would face rejection and try again. It meant that I would see the world a little differently and use my creative talents to become a published poet.
Without Words - Olivia Mulligan
I have written thousands of words
I have written thousands of rhymes
poem after poem
passing the time
poems for heartbreak
written at night
poems for poems’ sake
for love and for light
poems for seasons
for the winter blue
but I had no words
to write about you
I wasn’t ready to write about the pain
the shame
the fear
the stolen time
and how you made my teenage bones crumble
tumble into a bleak
space where I felt
nothing
until now
the days are sweeter
my bones are stronger
my stomach is softer
my smile is wider
my laugh is louder
my poem has
something to say –
to anyone in the
darkest space,
I know,
you’ll be ok
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