I’ve been a Colour Sergeant in the Royal Marines for the past nineteen years, with four of these being post a diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis.

My experience with Colitis came out of the blue. I was living a somewhat ordinary life, when I began to feel like my body was rebelling. My initial symptoms were subtle yet unsettling. These consisted of frequent trips to the toilet, tummy pain and overwhelming fatigue as the most noticeable.

Like many of us do, I dismissed my symptoms as a stomach bug or stress, until they intensified and it became more obvious that there was something wrong, especially when I started noticing blood in my poo.

As a serving Royal Marines Commando, my team and the brotherhood that had been present since I was 17 years of age, was my first thought. ‘How would I be able to function and tackle the tasks at hand? Would this be the end of my career?’ Aside from my career, I also worried about my family and wife and how this would impact them.

In January 2020 my career took an advancement, and the opportunity to join the Royal Marines Aircrew, specialising in everything from global humanitarian missions to counter-terrorism operations, was at my fingertips. I planned to wait until I was settled in the new branch and didn’t approach my Unit Medical Officer. However, one Saturday night driving back to camp from home, I experienced debilitating and agonising pain.

I began inadvertently slamming into the accelerator and was clocking over 120mph in excruciating pain, struggling to control the car. Thankfully, I managed to do so and avoided a crash.

After seeing a doctor and the day before my 33rd birthday, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. ‘Happy birthday to me!’ I recall thinking. The diagnosis had come with both relief and dread. Relief at having a label for the ‘enemy’ I was fighting, but dread at the reality of living with a chronic illness and what was to come. Although I threw myself into understanding more about the condition, the impact on my daily life was still profound. Simple tasks became daunting, social interactions overwhelming, and uncertainty surrounding future flare-ups loomed large.

Serving in the military with a chronic condition is a unique position to face. Initially I was told that my career ‘at the sharp end of the sword’ was over, which left me feeling helpless and hollow.

My diagnosis does also mean that I will never again deploy in a war-fighting capacity, and a medical risk assessment is required before any deployment. This is for my wellbeing too, as being in a destination without an NHS-equivalent level of treatment facility could endanger me.

Each year, a Medical Board assesses my health to determine whether I can continue serving and each time this brings its own anxiety, with a little voice in my head asking ‘what if they don’t retain me? What will the plan for me be then?’

Throughout these stresses, I found comfort in knowledge and began learning as much as possible. I also found support from the Crohn’s & Colitis UK Facebook Forum support group. Due to educating myself thoroughly, I felt able to make informed decisions about my treatment. Personally, I have found azathioprine has alleviated most of my symptoms, but I know different medicines work for different people.

Colitis, like other chronic conditions, can make life harder some days and easier on others because of its unpredictability. On these darker days, support is crucial. For me, it is imperative to put aside personal frustrations about ruined plans, and an understanding and sympathetic network can be hugely helpful.