I'm Lauren, I'm 28 and I live in the North East of England .

I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease in 2018, but my symptoms started three years before that when I was at university. I knew something was wrong because I started feeling really fatigued and my bowel habits became really irregular. Then I noticed blood in my poo.

I went straight to the doctor, but because I was a student and I was going out all the time – drinking and partying, then eating fast food late at night – I was told it was my lifestyle that was causing my symptoms. I changed what I was doing, but there was no improvement. The pain I was in used to terrify me. It would just take my breath away. Not only that, the blood in my poo was getting worse.

I kept going back to the doctor, but nothing much changed until I ended up in hospital to have my appendix out in 2018. It was when I was in the operating theatre that the surgeon looked at my bowel and realised I had Crohn’s.

When they first told me what was wrong I just did not have a clue how to react. I’d never heard of Inflammatory Bowel Disease. At first, I thought nothing would change, but I was so wrong. When I think about the effect Crohn’s has had on me and my everyday life, I honestly don’t know quite where to begin.

In 2021, my life changed overnight when Crohn’s complications meant I had to have emergency stoma surgery. A couple of days after the operation, I was in my hospital bed trying to work out how to change my stoma bag with the help of a nurse. It really wasn't going well - it was leaking everywhere and I just couldn't get it right, so I was frustrated and so, so sad. I was thinking: "How am I ever going to be able to do this?" I'll always remember the stoma nurse taking my hands, despite all the mess, and saying: "Lauren, this bag has saved your life. I know it's hard, and I know that it's going to take time, but I've known you for just three days and I know that you're strong enough to do this. And every time it gets hard, you need to remember that."

Honestly, it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Since then, even though I don't have my stoma any more (I had it reversed in 2022), whenever things get tough and I'm struggling, I just think of her words. She really just brought that strength and fire forward in me. 

Dealing with the uncertainty of Inflammatory Bowel Disease is still one of the hardest things for me. Early on in my journey, I had a bit of a moment of doom almost, where I suddenly thought: "What am I going to do? What's my life going to look like now? How am I ever going to plan anything again?" You might think that sounds a bit dramatic from me, but it's a lot to get used to. I was so young, with this long road ahead, worrying that it was going to linger over me forever and disrupt everything. "If I end up in hospital..." becomes a definite "when I'm next in hospital".

But life goes on. A few months after my diagnosis, I met James who is now my future husband! We’ve had to learn how to navigate my Crohn’s together and he’s been such a rock.

We’re planning our wedding at the moment and I really worry about how unpredictable my Crohn's is. I'm putting my heart, soul (and money!) into this huge day, but I'm always thinking in the back of my mind that I might not be well enough to enjoy it.  I try really hard not to give it too much headspace because I can't change anything that's going to happen and I know I will just make the best of any situation.

There are bad days, when I feel just really depleted, isolated and unsure about what is coming next. But there are also good days, when I'm filled with hope and I feel empowered and proud. Those good days are the ones that really raise my self-esteem. Learning to navigate the unpredictability isn't something that happens overnight. It takes time and support from other people. And I'm still learning! I'm so lucky that I've got fantastic people around me.