Being a parent with IBD can be extremely hard, especially when in a flare. You try your best, but the guilt is always there. I have missed special events, cancelled plans, and when fatigue is bad, I can be very irritable. My children are only seven years old, and I feel like I have missed out on so much. It makes me feel extremely sad for both myself and them. They are the main reason I do everything I can to get better. 

Life with Crohn’s is so hard, and it’s more than just having a bad stomach and going to the toilet. It impacts every aspect of your life, mentally, physically and socially. 

I’ve tried to explain the best I can to my children about what is the matter with me, and I tell them that I will always try and do the best I can for them. When they are older, they will see that I got up and continued for them, even when it was difficult.

For years I thought I was just a bad mum, but since being diagnosed it makes sense why I have felt the way I have. I used to question why other mums weren’t as tired as I was and why I couldn’t play and do normal things with my boys when tiredness or the urgency to go to the loo took over. A lot of mothers experience ‘mum guilt’ but when you live with a chronic illness like Crohn’s, you have an extra layer of guilt added. 

The most challenging part of living with Crohn’s as a parent is the unpredictability. There is no telling how I’m going to feel each day, and that can be stressful because my boys depend on me to take care of their needs, no matter how I’m feeling. I get days where I’m having a flare up and I have to put my kids’ needs first, so I end up not looking after myself. 

I am learning that being a mum with IBD is about finding balance between taking care of myself and taking care of my boys. It’s about making sure I can manage the disease to the best of my ability so I can be present and the best mum I can whilst living with Crohn’s.