Ask what helps your friend or family member manage their pain. This may be yoga, avoiding certain foods, or taking the right pain medicine. Some people find hot water bottles helpful, whereas some studies have shown that slow deep breathing and mindfulness exercises like meditation can help with pain. You can find lots of apps, online tools or in-person courses to help with this.

Seeing someone you care about in pain can be distressing, especially when it feels like there’s nothing you can do. Just validating their pain and helping them find ways to cope with it can go a long way. People who feel more in control and have better social support are able to cope better with their pain.

Many people with Crohn’s or Colitis experience fatigue. Fatigue is ongoing tiredness, lack of energy or exhaustion that doesn’t improve even after rest or sleep. Offering a lift so they don’t have to drive or deal with public transport can also be an enormous help. Or make plans that include being mindful of how they’re feeling. Why not plan more relaxing ways to spend time together when usual activities may be too much of a strain? Or catch-up online if they don’t feel up to meeting in-person.

You might find our information on fatigue and ways to cope with it helpful.

Be mindful of toilet access and pit stops when planning trips or events. People with Crohn’s or Colitis sometimes need to use toilets urgently. Be patient with them, if they spend a long time in the toilet, or rush off mid conversation to find the nearest loo.

Encourage them to become a member of Crohn’s & Colitis UK, or gift membership to them. By doing this they will receive a 'Can’t Wait Card', which explains that they need to use the toilet urgently. They’ll also receive a free Radar Key to unlock disabled toilets.

Offer to cook and clean so they can focus on their recovery. Some people with Crohn’s or Colitis need surgery. Afterwards, they may feel weak and tired. They may be unable to do any lifting or driving for a while. Offering to do things like cooking and cleaning could be a great help so they can focus on their recovery.

We have more information about surgery for Crohn’s Disease and surgery for Ulcerative Colitis. It covers what to expect before and after surgery. Surgery scars or weight changes can have a negative effect on body image, so they may appreciate reassurance that you don’t see them differently.

Listen to what they’re going through and validate their feelings. Sometimes people might prefer just to carry on as normal and not talk about their illness. But at other times they may appreciate someone to open up to.

It’s important to show that you believe them when they talk about their symptoms, and that they are not a burden to you. Instead of feeling sorry for them, it’s good to take time to really understand what they’re going through. You don’t need to have all the answers, sometimes listening is enough.

Don’t judge them for how or what they eat. It’s understandable to think that gut issues may have been caused by poor diet. But there’s no evidence that any particular food can cause or cure Crohn’s or Colitis.

The relationship with food is different for everyone living with Crohn’s or Colitis. Foods that may help one person may do nothing or even make symptoms worse in another.

There’s a lot of misleading information online, so it’s best to focus your search on reliable sources such as Crohn’s & Colitis UK or the NHS website. Our information all about Crohn’s and Colitis is a good starting point. We also have information on a wide range of topics, from food and medicines to coping with symptoms and everyday life.

Before you start finding out about Crohn’s and Colitis, it’s important to check how much your friend, relative or colleague wants you to know about their condition. Discuss beforehand how much they want you to know, or read about the condition together to help avoid misunderstandings.