I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in February 2020. It only affected my rectum, known as proctitis, and I was then diagnosed with proximal constipation. This is a complication of proctitis, and I have to take laxatives to keep my bowel moving. I also avoid foods with high fibre as these can trigger my colitis.

In addition to these bowel symptoms, I get frequent joint pain and fatigue which often leads to depression. It stops me doing things with my family and makes me feel older than I am.

As I was diagnosed just before lockdown I was shielding in a 2-bedroom flat on the top floor, not going out and sitting by an open window for fresh air.

This was obviously very hard for my daughter who was 7 at the time. She could only go out with her dad, and we couldn’t go out as a family.

I felt like I was ruining her childhood. She has had to see me when I was at my worst, and I had days where I couldn't get out of bed due to fatigue & joint pain.

My husband also struggled to come to terms with the impact of Colitis as he was used to me being a healthy, active, hands-on mum.

I was in a cycle of flare-ups and then being fine thanks to a course of steroids, and then being ill again. My husband sometimes I was exaggerating it and I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just get it. He is usually one of the most understanding people I've ever met.

Seeing it from my husband’s point of view, I blamed myself and started doing more. I was ignoring everything going on with my health. This made my symptoms worse, and I ended up in hospital with the worst pain I've ever had.

Then, later, we moved to our current hometown. After my first gastroenterology appointment here, I came home crying with relief as I had a doctor that understood me. I started on infliximab and feel like I finally have my life back.

Now, my husband stands by me through everything.

With other people, it can still be frustrating. When someone has a cold or is unwell I feel like I have to constantly repeat why I’m being so careful around them. I also have to tell people again and again why I can’t eat certain foods.

I wish people could just see inside my body and see it attacking itself.

I had a nurse say to me once ‘you look so healthy on the outside, if only people could see inside you then they'd know the truth’.

A doctor also once said to me: ‘if your gut isn't working properly nothing else will’.

I often use this line to explain to other people that my bowel condition doesn’t just affect the bowel.

Being open has introduced me to other people with Crohn’s and Colitis. They get me and I get them. We often give each other advice and are shoulders to lean on. I value this community so much.